I'm always interested in our habits and emotions around food and I study what individual people do.

At one job I had years ago, a small group of us always worked late on a Wednesday evening to meet a deadline and then went for a pizza afterwards. I would always look forward to this and 'save myself' for it by not eating too much during the day. One Wednesday early evening before we had finished, one of the group a very slim guy nipped out to get himself a burger and chips. I asked him why he was doing that when we would be going out for pizza in a couple of hours. He said "but I'm hungry now". I said "but won't it spoil your appetite later?" and he replied "well I won't probably won't have to eat later".

He didn't even eat all of his burger and chips, stopped when he was no longer hungry and thew the rest away.

I remember realising then the difference between us, I was using food as a celebration and reward and he was using it to ward off hunger and nothing else.

I would summarise then (and very generally) those slim people we are envious of eat to live and the rest of us live to eat.

Any thoughts?

However life isn't always that straight forward and when things aren't going smoothly, when we are facing complications and turning to food for comfort and allowing it to control us that is when emotional assistance and support is required. Using my own personal understanding of being overweight, NLP, mindful techniques and just plain listening on a one to one basis, Don't Say Diet helps you to get to the root of these feelings, so that you can see clearly what is happening, make those changes and lose weight for the last time.

There were no throw away stores like Primark around and my wardrobe was probably quite limited. If I grew out of one size and into another, it would have been quite a big deal and probably quite difficult too as these waistbands where a good reminder that I was getting a bit bigger.

However as time has gone on and people are getting bigger, we have restored to wearing elasticated waistbands and leggings and therefore expanding more and more into comfort. There is no restriction and no reminder to watch the intake for a few days, it can be ignored and we can squeeze ourselves into these leggings for quite a while before we need another size up. It's a way of ignoring the fact that we are getting bigger until it's more than just a few pounds that we need to lose.

I think these have helped us to ignore weight gain.

I find that if you have to stick to a regime which consists of eating things you don't normally eat when trying to lose weight then chances are you won't continue and when you stop, the weight will come back on. This process has driven me mad over the years and is one of the reasons I started Don't Say Diet. I was tired of the same old routine year after year. You really don't need to diet to lose weight. If diets worked then you wouldn't have to keep doing them year after year.

I have devised six simple, common sense steps that allow you to eat the same things you have always eaten, no buying and eating different food to the rest of your family and no more feeling deprived and out of control. You will be able to eat out and enjoy becoming in control of food so that you can get off the diet merry go round for good.

If you are tired of yo-yo dieting, then think about Don't Say Diet, it could change your life.

This is completely free just click here to download now.

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Merry Christmas everyone!

It may seem like a chore at first but it is a small task if you are serious about losing weight.

Often times clients tell me that they can remember what they have eaten, but I find this is not really possible, especially over a week. I keep a food diary myself if I feel I have gained a few pounds and I know that if I leave it more than one day, it's impossible to be accurate about what I ate and certainly about how I felt.

When we are over weight and emotionally attached to food, we eat mechanically, turning to food for all sorts of reasons but not checking what those reasons are. By documenting honestly what we eat and why, we start to learn to become aware of what is happening with us and it is vital to know this before we even start to do something about it.

When my client's get into the Don't Say Diet weight loss programme, they can look back over their food diary which will tell them where they went wrong if they didn't lose weight one week and they can often duplicate what they ate on successful weight loss weeks.

So when if you want to lose weight, start by becoming aware of your habits around food and get writing. :)

Self-image is how we perceive ourselves, it’s a number of impressions that have built up over time, our hopes and dreams, what we think and feel, what we have achieved throughout our lives. But these self-images are often negative, causing us to doubt our capabilities.

Many of us concentrate on our flaws - our legs are too short, eyes are too small, I wish my hair was thicker etc. We don’t often focus on what is good. We forget to be kind to ourselves and so believe that we don’t deserve certain things in life, including being slim.

We should be aware that our self-image is often far different from how the world sees us. We all know someone who has complained about something about themselves and we just can't see it, but they are adamant about their fault. We should take this as a lesson for ourselves. There will always someone bigger, smaller, taller, thinner, richer and poorer than us so it would be better to put that into perspective when being self critical.

Maybe our poor self-image is defined by our life events such as a bad childhood, not doing well in school, work, or relationships. Or maybe having a positive self-image can help overcome those events for the better. Worth thinking about.

Whichever way round, your self-image has a very strong impact on your happiness, and your outlook on life can affect what happens to you.

Improving Your Self Image

Start with thinking good thoughts about yourself and building on that, focus on one thing at a time and see how you get on.

By working from the inside out, which means focusing on changing your own way of thinking before changing the circumstances around you, you can build your self-esteem. Self-esteem isn't self-absorption; it's self-respect and that’s worth remembering.

I know we all use 1st of January to make our new year resolutions and to start diets and thats great, but I always think of September as a new start and I kind of like it better. The weather is still good, the nights are still quite light and the season is only just turning. It's a good time to start thinking of the changes you want to make to yourself before Christmas arrives and we all get too busy.

For me this summer seems to have been an endless stream of celebrations, get togethers, and meals out. I've missed many of my zumba and exercise classes and eaten calorie laden food, enjoyed it all immensely and have gained half a stone in three months. Not the way to go you may think if I am supposed to be helping you to lose weight :) However I wanted to point out that we are all human, including me. It's great to think that once you embark on something that you stick with it throughout, but in reality that doesn't always happen. Don't Say Diet is a journey, we are learning all the time. I let myself go, but I chose to do so. I realised that I was heading for weight gain, but I decided that for a short time, that was OK. I didn't go completely wild and aim to gain weight because I didn't feel deprived (that is diet mentality) but I chose to eat more than I normally would and to miss some of my classes. I knew where this would lead and allowed myself this time out and because of that I didn't feel any guilt or self loathing.

I know that I will get back on track starting today. I feel ready to change back my habits, to be more mindful of what I eat and to step up those classes.

I'll let you know how I get on.

Is it because when we diet before a holiday we are cutting out things we love and therefore when we get away, we eat them in abundance? Or is it because we want to gorge ourselves on everything like we are never going to eat lovely food again once we get home? Do we really love overeating that much that we decide we are going to give up our dream of being slim?

It does seem like a never ending cycle, but it doesn't have to be that way.

Imagine if by the time you went on holiday you didn't even care that much about food, you didn't feel the need to gorge, you just ate sensibly, left food on your plate and just enjoyed the holiday without guilt or shame or worry about how much weight you would have put on. Imagine what it would be like to not expect to put weight on when on holiday.

This can be you, but you need to give up dieting and the way dieting has made you think and feel. Don't Say Diet can help you to change your outlook, reset your habits and feelings around food and put you in control.

DIET: Restricted or regulated course of feeding.

GUILT: State of having done something wrong – responsibility for an offence.

The fact of having committed a specific or implied offence or crime.

WILLPOWER: Ability to control oneself, ones actions impulses.

SHAME: Emotion caused by consciousness of guilt or dishonour in one's conduct or state, cause of disgrace.

I'm pleased to say that none of these are relevant with Don't Say Diet.

I say that Don't Say Diet is not a diet because it isn't, you won't need to change what you put in your food shopping basket each week, no supplements, no diet labelled products, no deprivation etc. The reason being that its not about the food, its about you. I enable you to change your perceptions and it works very well and is very successful, however, everyone reverts to comfort zones now and then, especially in the early days before the new habits have been formed, even afterwards sometimes and as a result we gain weight and guess what? Thats OK.

With the best of intentions at the start, lets face it we are also likely to go off track from time to time, revert to old habits and to gain weight because we are human.

It makes me sad when clients are reluctant to face me because they have gained weight and they feel ashamed. This of course is the time they need me most, to gently guide them back which I do, but this mentality is brought on by dieting and is often difficult to overcome.

I thought it would be interesting to read what the dictionary says:

SHAME: Emotion caused by consciousness of guilt or dishonour in one's conduct or state, cause of disgrace.

Please, please never feel guilty or ashamed if you ever go off track. Don't Say Diet is a journey of learning and that means ups and downs, but it is always about feeling good about yourself whatever you do.

However, this became a a two week splurge of self indulgence when last week I continued to swerve all of my exercise classes in favour of being a full blown couch potato, with evenings in front of the TV eating all kinds of high calorie food and drinking wine.

Of course I have put on some weight and clothes are tight - you all know how this feels, it's not pleasant. However the way I feel about myself now since I started Don't Say Diet compared to how I used to feel when I had done this is very different and I'll tel you why.

I chose those two weeks of indulgence. I made that decision and I accepted the consequence before I embarked on the journey. Because of that there is no guilt, no self loathing, no recriminations, no regret. I over ate but I was in control at the same time.

Now I don't mean to sound smug, I have all the Don't Say Diet tools at my disposal and so it is easy for me to step off and back on to this way of eating, but those two weeks were once my way of life and so I understand how easy it is to fall into old habits, feeling like you have failed and therefore continuing to over eat. I started Don't Say Diet so that I can use my understanding and empathy to help as many people as possible to overcome their weight issues to get that control and to actually enjoy losing weight. So remember don't feel you are alone.

I think if we owned what we ate, there would be no need for guilt and we would gain control over food.

GUILT; “State of having done something wrong, taking responsibility for an offence”

................... and this is food we are talking about!!!!!!

It’s crazy to eat something you love and then spend ages feeling guilty about it. Swap guilt for choice. If you choose to over eat, so be it, enjoy. Next time you may choose differently and that’s when the changes begin.

If this is you, then ask yourself what are your reasons. Now is the time to start understanding what is driving this pattern of behaviour in order for change to take place. Consider the food and consider the exercise.

FOOD

Often we are tempted to go reaching for food after a work out because we feel we have burned the calories and therefore the food intake will be neutralised and won't count. This comes from a feeling of lack or deprivation which has been hardwired into us from years of dieting. We can overcome this by thinking differently about food and concentrating on our goals. This is all part of the Don't Say Diet techniques.

EXERCISE

If you turn to food as compensation or reward after exercising then you are viewing exercise as something to be endured rather than enjoyed and you have probably chosen something that doesn't suit you. There are many exercise options out there, don't limit yourself for example to the gym if that is not what you like doing, find something that you love and exercise will become something that you look forward to.

Just being aware of your patterns and then knowing the reasons behind them is a great start to changing your behaviour towards food and gaining control.

I often ask my clients if they are hungry when they eat a meal and its amazing how many say they are not and can't remember the last time they were actually hungry.

I always say that a little hunger is not a bad thing, we don't want to be ravenous before a meal as we will be inclined to over eat, however there is nothing like feeling really ready for a lovely meal. It makes you appreciate your food and it also gives us time to digest what we have eaten previously.

I always say don't deprive yourself of anything, this also goes for not depriving yourself of the the feeling of satisfaction you will get from eating a meal you are truly ready for.

If you don't write these goals down or have a plan about how to achieve them, then they become just wishes or nice to do one day and they will probably not ever become a reality.

With Don't Say Diet I encourage clients to think about all of their goals in life, not just weight loss, it has a real impact, so why not give it a go now.

Make a list of things that you would like to do or achieve in your life. Write them in bold letters, so that you can really start to pay proper attention to them, large or small things it doesn't matter. This way it makes them become visible and more possible.

Now write down next to each of them the reasons why you haven't achieved them yet and note how many are reasons and how many are excuses and can you tell the difference? Have a think about this and see what comes up in your mind, you only have to account to yourself, not to me or to anyone else so don't delude yourself.

Now make a new list, take your favourite three things and write down under each one, what it would take to achieve this i.e.: money, time whatever it is do a timeline as to how long you think it will take and then plan your journey towards it, even if you do something small once a day or week towards you goal, you will be making progress where you hadn't before.

Making things happen in your life not only makes you feel good about yourself, but it gives you control. Soon losing weight won't be an issue because you will be a new person going after what you want and getting it, including losing weight.

You can start to change those habits by planning what you are going to eat for the next day or if you can the next week.

Breakfast is an important part of weight loss, but you don't need a full English! A banana or yoghurt, toast, cereal, anything to kick start your metabolism will help. Have these things in and ready to go.

By taking your own lunch to work you can not only save money, but be in control of what you eat. Just plan it the night before and have the right ingredients in. If you are at home then even better.

In the evening, plan a few options so again your have choices but make sure you have what you need stocked.

Try and not go to the supermarket when you are hungry, you will buy things you fancy but don't necessarily need and you will definitely over buy.

Reason one: Hunger

Reason two: Emotion

When you break it down like this, you can work out which one is driving you to eat.

Hunger is a gradual feeling, it will build up until you satisfy it with food. If you regularly eat when you are not hungry, chances are you are overweight because you are feeding your emotion not your hunger so food is not necessary.

Have a think what emotion makes you eat when you are not hungry

Boredom

Sadness

Deprivation

Tiredness

Consolation

Habit

Many more ...............

Firstly, identify the emotion, you don't even have to do anything about it, but being aware is a good place to start shifting these old patterns. Once you are satisfied that you know when this eating habit takes place you can start to think about what you can do about it. This is you starting your journey on gaining control over food and it feels really good.

I've been in this situation many times and it's a sad cycle. This is why I developed Don't Say Diet, I like to think of it as resetting your expectations about weight loss, seeing it as a whole different experience, an experience where you are empowered to lose weight easily, without dieting and for the last time.

I'm not an advocate of calorie counting as I think it drives us to focus on lack, but when you become mindful and in control of your eating habits, you can assess if you really need that particular thing to eat, and because there is no deprivation, you soon feel like you don't mind leaving things.

For instance, I leave all of my crusts on sandwiches. I don't really like them and I feel that eating them is a waste of calorie intake, I eat what I enjoy most and thats the middle. I do the same with pizza. When I look at my plate at the end of the meal I see all of those dry, tasteless calories left on my plate and know that I have enjoyed the parts I liked. Also I often omit to put butter on jacket potatoes and on toast under beans. I don't notice the difference and its another saving of calories I won't miss.

There are many ways to cut calories, we may eat two rounds of toast in the mornings or two muffins or a large helping of cereal. Try cutting down to one and see if you really needed that second round or use a smaller bowl. You are still eating the same just not as much and over the weeks and months, you will have saved yourself many calories that will show when you step on the scales.

It really is worth thinking where you can cut corners on what you eat during the day, every little helps!!! :)

As soon as we have lost the weight we gladly revert to old eating habits and then the weight comes back.

Don't Say Diet is about empowerment, I give you the help you need to be able to do it on your own. I don't tell you what to eat, I tell you how to eat and how to make mindful choices about food.

Sometimes I have had clients who have gone off track, not followed the six steps and have gained weight they feel ashamed about coming for their next session. I have heard them say that they would come back when they had lost some weight. To me this is like going to the doctor when we feel a bit better. The time to come to me is when you feel you have lost your way and I can guide you back.

The diet mentality is hard to shift, we easily feel guilty about food and this is one of the main obstacles I face with my clients. Once we realise that we are responsible and in sole charge of the choices we make around food hen we are free. It's very liberating and it works.

If you think about it, eating out is a state of mind, it's no different from eating in, just different food, served up to us by a stranger. Its all about choice and responsibility.

I firmly suggest that you take the opportunity to eat out and not put it off until you have lost your weight. Life is for living and the time is now.

Firstly know that you can have what you want, there is no point in going out to eat something you think you SHOULD eat. Decide which course you like best and make sure you have room for that. Don't fill up on food that you are not that bothered about. If you love your main course then keep the other two courses light. Keep filling food like carbs to a minimum, have a taste of everything, but save yourself for your favourite. Don't allow yourself to get bloated. It's a lovely feeling when you come home from a meal and just feel satisfied. It means you took control of food, not the other way around.

For instance:

Note the time you get up, what you eat and drink in the morning.

What you might snack on mid morning or what drinks you have.

The time you eat lunch and what you drink - also if you are moving around much or sitting.

What happens in the afternoon, do you snack, do you have a school run and if so do you eat before or after or both?

What time do you have dinner and what do you eat drink? Do you have alcohol any nights of the week?

Do you exercise in the evenings, go to classes or go for a walk? Do you eat again before bedtime and what time do you go to bed?

Once you've answered these questions (honestly) you will be able to see your patterns emerging and be able to start to see where you can make meaningful changes which will help you to lose weight.

The session will include:

An introduction to what Don’t Say Diet is all about

Weighing and measuring

A Don’t Say Diet personal diary for everyone

A different encouraging talk topic each time

Tips and techniques

Relaxing feel good visualisation exercise

Reduced price to any personal one to one sessions

Personal Sessions – One to One

Being over weight is never about the food and these personal one to one sessions are tailored to your individual needs, to help you to clear old eating patterns and habits. It also goes deeper into issues around food that have been hindering your weight loss.

These sessions include:

One to one guidance as above

Weighing and measuring

Your personal Don’t Say Diet Diary

Tips and techniques to help you

Relaxing feel good visualisation exercise and CD

With Don't Say Diet, you will be losing weight for the last time, I help you to release those old beliefs about weight loss. You can clear out those large size clothes along with your old ways of thinking, because you won't be needing them. The techniques I use help you to let go of the past and move whole heartedly into the now and a future where you are in control.

if you are determined to get fit you will see that there are plenty of opportunities around your everyday life. Walking is great, especially if you pick up the pace. You can go alone with your thoughts, plug in some music, go with a friend or take the dog. If you can, try and walk everywhere and at every opportunity, the more you walk the better you will feel.

If you have an upstairs at home then use those stairs as much as possible, go up and down them all the time. According to the NHS website, stair climbing burns more calories per minute than jogging and counts towards your recommended 150 minutes of weekly exercise. Research shows that taking the stairs regularly is good for strengthening your bones, and cardiovascular fitness.

Both of these activities are free, will aid your weight loss and enhance your feel good factor, so there's no excuse!

When it comes to eating, it is worth looking at when we are eating out of habit or for comfort. What time of day are you likely to eat more and why? Identifying the time of day is a good start, you can work out if you can change that pattern for the better. Identifying the why is actually at the root of it all. What are the feelings that drive you to eat? These are your emotional triggers and they have lead you to being overweight. Sometimes just discovering what they are is enough, they could be old feelings that you once attached to food and you have continued with out of habit, so it's easy to change. If the feeling is still current, that's Ok, you have at least identified it and you can allow the knowledge of it to sit with you whilst you understand it more. When you are ready you can start to make plans for alternative things to do at those times.

However, you do need to start thinking about your habits and the patterns of your eating. For instances, do you rush through the door after work or collecting the children and ram food into your mouth before you have almost taken your coat off? Is this because you let yourself get too hungry during the day, or is this just habit and you are not actually hungry at all?

Sit down and think about your days and what actually goes on with food. When you eat, why you eat, the quantity of food you eat and where you can reduce your portions. then you can start your planning and you will see the changes.

Now things are elasticated and we wear a lot of leggings, it's easy to gain weight as these will just accommodate us and we are slower to notice that we are gaining weight, so then there is more to lose.

If we had to wear clothes without elastic I think we would be more mindful about our bodies and think twice about what we ate.

What do you think?

The thing to remember with holiday weight gain is that it doesn't have to be permanent. Obviously the less you gain the better, but as long as it doesn't have time to "settle in" you should be able to get rid of it quite quickly.

Sometimes we go on holiday with the intention of gaining weight because we imagine we will go mad with food, but that doesn't always have to be the case. A few years ago I went to Mexico and it was all inclusive with a beautiful buffet every night. I would always assess the buffet first and then go for what I really fancied with the intention of going back for other things, but I found that by the time I had finished my plate I was often satisfied and I had no desire to be bloated and over full, especially knowing that this lovely food was available all the time.

When I returned home I was exactly the same weight as before I went. This proves that it is the expectation of deprivation that makes us gorge food when we think we have a 'free pass' like a holiday. It's always good to be able to let your hair down when you are away but we don't have to go berserk with food.

One of the main reasons we do gain weight on holiday is lack of exercise, this is OK for a couple of weeks, it's a good idea to get moving when you get home though, it will help shift the pounds quicker.